Friday, March 28, 2008


the apartment manager at westminster got my hold check and
said there was some good news.
the studio i will be moving into at first will be available when i arrive in spokane.
so i won't have to stay in a hotel after all.
i felt so much better about it,
now i can also mail some of my belongings to myself,
just in case it all won't fit into my car.

if anyone wants to send me letters or anything in the mail,
my new address is:
2301 W Pacific #108 Spokane WA 99204

so i've sold a lot of stuff on craigslist.
and when some of the people come out to my house,
they get attacked by my crackhead neighbors.
let's just say i spent the last couple of days in embarrassment.
one person offered to help me move because they felt bad for me living next to crackheads.
and one person even called the friggan police to come out and check on me!
they told the police that they thought i was being held hostage!!!
i was like ARE YOU SERIOUS?!
strangers from craigslist care about my well being??!?!?
the police had to come in my home and make sure there was no one else there and check my i.d.

i got a lady on craigslist to take almost all of the stuff that i have left.
so that's pretty awesome.
all i have left to get rid of in my reel lawn mower, my ugly floral print chair, and the misc stuff that is going to goodwill.

i have another busy day planned for myself today.
i'm not sure how i am going to fit seeing brook into my schedule today.
but i have to work something out.

i wanted to see yellow stone park on my way to spokane,
but turns out the park isn't open until mid april! :(
does anyone have any info on estes park in colorado?
i also plan on going there, but haven't had the time to view their website entirely.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

feel the crunch

yesterday was my last day at work.
i didn’t think it was gonna be so hard to leave.
i hate saying goodbye to people that i’ve known for awhile.
it was also hard not getting goodbyes from some other people.
and some people just really shocked me at how much they care about me.
sometimes you never realize it until something like this happens.

i am pretty much finished with the video i made for work.
i just need to add the end credits with everyone’s names.
i’m not thrilled with it like i was when i started it,
but it will be good to have when i get home sick.

here is the other video adrian did...
the end has out takes...
i prefer the other one we made though.

i’m starting to feel the crunch.
i still have a lot of stuff to get rid of.
i posted 5 or 6 major items on craigslist last night before bed.
i hope to have a lot of interest in these items today.
and then i will post more items today.
hopefully, by thursday, i will have only my tv and bed to get rid of.
but i’m guessing i will have more than that left.
jenny came by last night and got a bunch more stuff,
and promised to pick up my loveseat and treadmill on thursday.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

mini pitcher

so i accidently completely deleted the video i was working on of my co-workers.
i still have all of the video clips i used for the video,
but i just have to put it back together again and fine tune everything again.
which will take me a good long time.
damn fucking cough medicine.
hopefully i will work on that a bit today.

im wondering exactly how much more snot is stored in my damn face?
every time i blow my nose, i tell myself that that's the last of it.

jenny and i went out to see debbie's husband's band.
they were really good.
we mostly spent the night talking shit about people...
here is a video:

adrian agreed to star in a couple of videos.
this one was easy to edit....
his improv is excellent.
i think he practices this shit at home in front of a mirror.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

i was denied because of her ass

it’s the first day of spring....
and it seems like i am getting sicker with each day that passes.
i wish i felt like doing something...

i’m thinking about not getting the heat/ac fixed on my car.
the weather will be above freezing in spokane when i arrive.
so i dunno.
i just feel like i need as much money as possible now for hotel rooms while waiting for my apartment to become available.
i don’t know.
i’m not really thinking straight right now anyways.
but i am so used to working in the cold all day during winter,
that i could easily tolerate driving most of the day in the cold.

plus goddamned bedford apartments in marion, indiana is counting against me.
i never lived there!
westminster is going to approve me anyways,
just with a higher deposit.
i fucking hate my sister right now.
she knows she used my ss number...
she’s just lying to me about it because she fucked up.
so i called my sister and told her i was denied because of her ass.
maybe she will come clean now??

i can’t get online at home anymore.
the person who i have been mooching wifi from,
apparently turned off their internet connection.
i don’t blame them...
but now i have to wait to get online at work and whenever i drag the laptop to mcdonald’s parking lot.

i need to list more stuff on craigslist.
i still have far too many belongings in my home...
with only about 8 days left before i hit the road.
i just wish i felt like listing them and then dealing with people.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

fucked up on cough medicine

so i got a call from the service that does the application credit checks for westminster apartments this morning.
apparently some how my name comes up as having lived in bedford apartments in marion, indiana.
my sister lived here, not me.
then i was also told of some things that chris told me he took care of, but obviously did not.
so i'm feeling not so great about this application.
i have emailed a few other places also about residency also just in case.
but the apartment manager assured me that i should be fine on everything after i emailed her again today.
however, she said the apartment was taken.
SO i will probably have to wait.
i am hoping maybe a unit will be emptied out SOON and i can move in mid april?
it's good to know anyways that i will need to have a hotel arranged after all.
she said 2 more units would be available soon.
we'll see.

still sick.
still have sore throat and cough.
not getting fucked up on cough medicine anymore.

i made a new video that i can share....
although michael might not appreciate it.

i still need about 2 more minutes worth of film for my "out of service" video from work.
and i have not figured out how to blur everyone's company logos still.
so it will not be uploaded online. :(

Monday, March 17, 2008

a bunch of retarded people

i got an email back from the person that posted about the sofa on spokane's craigslist.
they are willing to save the sofa set for me until i get to spokane!!!!!
can you tell i am excited?


i finally got around to taking more stuff to goodwill.
and i also posted several ads on craigslist to sell some stuff.
i've sold everything so far.
it's weird exchanging your belonging with strangers for money in your home.
this is looking very hopeful though.
i've made $45 so far on just random stuff.

i also got one of my tax return checks in the mail.
i almost expected not to get them.
now i can't wait to get the other one because it's even more money.

i called to have all my utilities shut off after i am gone.
there's no turning back now.

the apartment manager for westminster emailed friday to say they did get my application and are processing it.
she did not mention whether or not the apartment is still available.

if i get approved for westminster,
i should have an address when i arrive in spokane...
so i could send my books in the mail to my new residence.
and just await their arrival in the mail via media mail.
this would free up tons of space in the car.
because i'm pretty sure the clothes and books are going to kill me.

speaking of clothes, i was naughty.
i bought 6 new articles of clothing.
so i have to get rid of at least 6 more pieces of clothes.
but the clothes i bought, i will most likely need for work...
so that makes it okay, right?

i'm starting a new video project.
a guy from work inspired me.
i was wanting to take video of people at work anyways before i moved...
so if i get home sick,
i can watch it.
but i prefer to remember my coworkers in a special way.
as a bunch of retarded people.
so i have managed to get 11 people to let me film them.
i am holding off on making a video until i can get more people at work to participate.
so this will be about a week in the making.
unfortunately, i have chosen not to upload it online.
i fear that someone will find the video inappropriate
and call up one of the companies that one of my vendors works for
(pepsi, kraft, sara lee, etc)
and try to get them into trouble for acting retarded on video while in their uniforms.
i might try to blur out their company name or something.
i dunno.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

another year closer to death

if the apartment at westminster ends up coming through for me as hoped,
i will be saving such a large amount of month that i could, in theory, pay for my rent for 7 months just in what i save from not having to stay at a hotel, having a smaller deposit on apartment, only having to pay one utility, and rent being cheaper than expected. also this would include the money from my very last paycheck and pto pay. this being said, i am not feeling as anxious about the albertsons job. i won't worry myself to death about it.

as i have begun to gather up my belongs that i would like to take with me,
i am realizing that i have far too much.
what originally looked like a very small amount,
has grown massive.
i am worried if i weigh my car down too much,
i won't make it to spokane at all!
so the first thing i need to go back through are my books.
i have 2 gift wrap tubs full of books.
i need to get that down to 1 1/2 and fill the rest of the tote with my other small belongings.
the rest of my shit will be packed in shopping bags.
although i am not sure how that will work out for my imac.
maybe if i buy some bubble wrap.

this is the couch of my dreams.
i found it on spokane's craigslist.
i emailed them and it has not been taken yet.
i offered him $100 more to hold it for me until mid-april.
still awaiting a response.


i wish we had never adopted the custom to celebrate birthdays.
why is it such a great thing to tell someone "happy birthday!"?
why can't we just recognize that we are another year closer to death instead?
is that not "happy"?
when people say "happy birthday" to me,
i am generally annoyed.
but when friends or family members don't say it... (forget),
it makes you pissed off at them.
and you shouldn't be angry with them because birthdays are fucking stupid anyway.
i made this the worst birthday ever for myself...
i thought i had lowered my expectations enough,
but i suppose i haven't.
i guess i better get used to disappointment...
after all, i will be completely alone in 16 days.
i just find it funny how people can offer you money more readily than a little bit of their time.
"here's a gift card. bye!" wtf?

i finally sent my mom an email.
we have not spoken since christmas.
i had been contemplating whether to try to mend our relationship before i leave or not.
she sent me a text message for my birthday.
i thought about it all day,
and finally decided to send her this message:

please don't text message me anymore.
my phone number has changed, and i will be getting rid of my old phone soon.
your "happy birthday" message doesn't mean shit to me.
all i wanted from you was your love and attention.
instead, i was called a selfish bitch.
you lost your chance to have anything to do with me anymore.
i will be gone in a few days.
do not expect any communication from me.
i just hope dad's money will finally make you happy with yourself.

sure, it was a very harsh email.
i probably should not have sent it.
i should have just let things be and not even sunk to her level.
but sometimes it just hurts so bad.
and when you are a "selfish bitch" and you hurt,
you want other people to hurt also.
so, as you can see,
i have opted to not mend the relationship after all.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

you pissed yourself laughing

i have been keeping in daily contact with the manager of the westminster apartments.
i got my application and fee sent into the mail to her.
now it is just a matter of her getting it and getting me approved before someone else gets the apartment i want.
she assured me that bad credit will not rule me out.
so that made me feel much more comfortable about my likelihood of being accepted.
i am just keeping my fingers crossed for the next few days.
she emailed me back and answered all of my questions about the apartment,
so i am hoping that means she will try to hold it for me...
she also said if i did not like the apartment when i got there,
i could still move in and be put on a wait list for another apartment i might like better.
that's pretty awesome.
*crossing fingers*

i need to find a mechanic to fix the heat/air in my car still.
i should probably start calling around.
i just don't want to end up car-less while it is being fixed.

one of my most favorite people came into work yesterday to visit with me for about an hour and a half.
he told me the most hilarious thing i had heard all day.
apparently he was shopping at garden ridge last week for some stuff to make his home look better so it will finally get sold.
across the store he spots someone that looks like me.
he thought it was me.
so he goes jogging with his cart across the store and proceeds to ram his cart into hers.
her cart hits her stomach.
he realizes it isn't me.
and the lady is just standing there mortified.
i guess he was apologizing all over himself.
he said he was so embarrassed but continued his shopping trip anyways.
and i guess he kept running into this lady throughout the store.
and she continued to look at him like he was crazy.
i told him he should have just ran up to her and rammed the cart again.
why not? she already thinks you're crazy.
i just can't stop laughing at how retarded he is.

why do most ideas sound so much better when you are drunk?
and then when you are sober,
they just aren't quite as hilarious....
and you can't remember why the hell you pissed yourself laughing about it when you were drunk.

i got my sister to come over today and take some more of my stuff.
now the house is looking even more bare.
i need to go by the goodwill and drop off some totes and clothes that i have been meaning to do forever.
i will do this tomorrow. i hope.

we went back to agave.
i'm so glad jennifer told me about that place.
after our dinner, we went down this little trail that is behind agave.
because when you are drunk, you are curious.
and it was like a walking trail and people were down there.
when we turned around to go back,
it was hard as hell with all these hills to climb.
we were so out of breath we almost had to sit down and rest.
i don't know if it was because we were drunk or from laughing so much or just because we are fat asses.
but let this be a warning to anyone else that tries to venture down the trail!

Sunday, March 9, 2008

too good to be true

well, the 2 bedroom apartment fell through.
it's not a pet friendly apartment building.
i knew it would be too good to be true.
i will be sending out my application for westminster monday morning before work.
and look around some more for other apartment buildings.
i have emailed about 3 or 4 that never even replied back.
go figure.

incase for some odd reason,
you haven't seen my new "roll out" video...
it's the first video i have ever edited.
i'm excited about it... even though it sucks ass.
i wish retards would say stupid shit while i am filming them.

but at least i am inspired to do more and improve.
i like thinking about all of the good ideas i can come up with for another short video.

here is another video clip i made with no actually video at all...

i'm wondering if it is possible or even allowed to place a video in an ebay auction?
i believe they do allow html in their listings...
that would actually make it easier to list fairly good sized lots of books.
instead of taking a bunch of pictures.
i should probably look into this.
i only have 20 days left until the move.

i started reading "a new earth" by eckhart tolle.
i am just a little bit into chapter 3.
i was feeling kind of iffy about the book up until a few pages into chapter 2.
it really takes the saying "stop to smell the roses" to a whole new level.
i find myself asking all kind of questions.
there are a few good quotes in the book that make sense.
but i think it is going to help a lot to be apart of the web event discussion.
that way maybe it will help me understand some things that i missed or went over my head.
i almost don't want to proceed any further into the book, until i go back and re-read the first 2 chapters and try to fully understand them.
i need to get a highlighter.

Friday, March 7, 2008

never eat at an olive garden

turns out i would not be subleasing from the 2 bedroom apartment.
it would be a new lease and the whole new process of becoming approved.
and there are new costs and deposits are different than what he originally listed.
i figured it would be more since he had lived there for so long.
i will still call his apartment's office and find out more about it.
even $445 for a 2 bedroom is pretty good.


i will also be sending westminster my application and application fee in the mail this weekend.
the manager did not answer all of my questions however.
so i will need to get back ahold of her.

i got a call back from an albertsons in spokane today.
but it was the service deli manager.
ummm... i thought i had made it clear that i was NOT interested in working in the deli?

i got my new cellphone battery in the mail today.
and now my new phone for spokane works!

i also got a flip video camcorder today.
i was originally going to get a samsung at circuit city,
but they were not interested in assisting me....
so i went to best buy and got help and got what i really wanted anyways.
the flip video camera is pretty nice.
its fool proof.
i don't know yet if i really like the software on it though.
when i download the video to my mac,
it plays with no sound.
but if i upload the video straight from the camera to , it plays fine.
but it takes forever!
but now i can take some easy and quick videos of my friends, family and people at work that i might miss.

i got the eckhart tolle book finally!
barnes and noble finally got it back in stock.
so hopefully i will be able to set aside more time to read this book.
i really liked the first web event for the book...
so i hope this book will be helpful. :)

olive garden in utica square sucks.
i was not impressed at all.
i will probably never eat at an olive garden again.
lesson learned.

i like how my parents are moving to glenpool and were not even going to tell me.
that right there makes me want to not even tell them when i leave.
but i am sure my sister told them,
just like she told me about them moving.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

perfect strangers

i am getting more excited now about moving.
i think i might have found a place to live when i move.
i am waiting until this weekend to see pictures of the apartment.
i will (hopefully) be taking over the lease on a 2 bedroom apartment in browne's addition.
the guy is moving to seattle at the end of this month and needs someone to take over beginning in april.
and the rent is incredibly cheap for a 2 bedroom and for the area.
i'm trying to figure out what the catch is.

there are also new openings at westminster for studios.
i had emailed westminster's manager back in mid february about openings.
i saw she posted a new listing on craigslist,
and turns out she has 2 new openings (maybe more).
so she gave me a link to download the application form to send in to her.
so if the guy with the 2 bedroom apartment doesn't email back this weekend with pictures,
i will send in this application for westminster on monday.

i have also emailed a few other apartment complexes and people interested in subletting.
i hope something good turns up soon.

i've called around again to several albertsons in spokane.
i am starting to feel like i am getting the run around.
i finally spoke with an assistant store director at one of the stores for 7 minutes (longest anyone took the time to speak with me) who gave me the email address to his boss and that she would be more helpful than calling around to all of the stores.
so i emailed her with my story...
she emailed back a few hours later.
i will lose my tenure with the company though.
she gave me the phone number for a lady who is in charge of "front end service departments in inland empire". whatever the fuck that means.
i am supposed to call this lady when it gets closer to time for me to move.
i guess i will just have to settle for realizing i will not have a job right away when i get there.

my home is looking more and more bare now.
it's feeling less and less comfortable living here.
it just doesn't feel like a home anymore.
a lot of the walls are bare and i have been taking down curtains already also.
i have been trying to keep things really clean also..
i'm expecting a surprise visit from my landlord any day now.

i have been meaning to post book lots for sale on ebay....
but i just have not gotten around to it.
i have any entire bookcase and 2 totes full that i still need to get rid of,
and i don't want to just give them away to goodwill.
and they are not selling or swapping entirely fast enough through and

sadly, the perfect strangers of the biggest loser are no more.
they were my favorites.
i will miss these little videos by them....

i transfered some money from my ing account to my bank here in tulsa.
i plan to buy a digital camcorder either tomorrow or over the weekend.
i look forward to being able to take videos of my friends and my trip.
i want to document this part of my life the best way i know how.

Sunday, March 2, 2008


so there is this mexican place called agave.
they serve excellent food and 2.99 margaritas.
needless to say, i've been there twice in the last 3 days.
first, jennifer took me there.
i got so drunk i was seeing colors.
but i think it was actually from the flash on jen's camera.
because she had just taken some pictures and then i started seeing little orange spots everywhere.
then i took my sister there last night.
i ordered the same meal as before and same drinks.
2 drinks was enough to get me drunk.
i love this place.
i wish i had found out about it sooner.

i have been trying to buy oprah's new book club book.
but "a new earth" is sold out everywhere!
so i guess i will have to wait to buy it.
even though the online class for the book start tomorrow.

i bought a gps unit today.
i couldn't wait anymore.
i made a video review on it .

i think on my road trip to spokane,
i want to make a few stops along the way,
and do some geocaching.

my car's check engine light came back on again today after having it off for a week and a half.
this angers me.
because i know the light is not on for any serious reason.
but the check engine light can prevent me from passing the emissions test in washington when i go to get new tags.
maybe i can get another auto place to reset the light for me again before my trip.
if not, i'll get it done in spokane i guess.
i still need to have my a/c and heat fixed though before i move.